And the Oscar Goes To ….

OK folks.  As many of you know we needed a little chat and reality check for Daniela.  We had a little conversation this morning about her less than appropriate attitude toward us, our friends and our families.  We asked what she can do to make the situation better and how we can help her; we also reinforced that we love and care for her regardless of her actions.

Her response (in a nutshell): I do not like you; good behavior from her we will never see; it is disgusting when you say you love me; your house smells like dogs and it disgusts me; Americans are the most disgusting people in all the world; I think about leaving here all the time and the longer I stay here the worse it will be for you.

My counteroffer: We cannot force you to be polite but the choice is yours – be angry and miserable or try to enjoy; either way we love and care for you no matter what you do and that will not change; I am aware that you do not like me although I have done nothing to deserve this mistreatment; I am trying my best; you are wrong Daniela – the longer you stay here it will NOT be worse for us.

Her counterpoint: I want to talk with Dace (chaperone) and has gone into seclusion in her room.

Honestly, I thought I handled the conversation with a good balance of firmness, patience and loving guidance. I did not fly off the handle at her responses primarily because i recognized them for what they were – deflections.  Daniela does not like being held accountable for her actions and when she is she deflects, blames others and creates lots of smoke-screens.  Of course she does this so she does not have to “own” her part in the situation.  Thankfully my training as a counselor permitted me to see it for what it was.  It was left in her hands what kind of visit she will have for the remainder of her time here – enjoyable or miserable.  Time will tell.

Fast Forward to the Late Afternoon:  When last we left our heroine she was locked away in the tower in self-imposed exile.  I had taken to performing some household chores, including cleaning up the back yard of dog waste, vacuuming, several loads of laundry, cleaning up the bathroom and the kitchen and taking out the trash.  I rewarded myself with a nice cigar on the back deck and later watched some Netflix and relaxed on the couch.

She appeared on the stairs stating that she was hungry at about 4 p.m.  So I made her some lunch.  Conversation was nonexistent outside of a few grunts, shakes of her head and a few eye-rolls.  When asked if she would like to help me make some dinner, the silence was deafening. So, I was going solo until Eileen came home.

Once Eileen came home Daniela asked her if she could have the charger for her phone/music.  She was told that conversation must take place before she goes running back up into her lair.  After many minutes of typing conversations via Google, she again insisted that she was having some female issues (although Eileen could not understand about those issues according to Daniela).  So Eileen insisted on placing a call to her chaperone Dace to act as translator in order to correctly obtain the necessary medical information;  Dace did not return the call as of this writing but we will try again Saturday.

Stay tuned folks.

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