I Don’t Understand

I just have to vent here for today.  I just finished up a post on Presence being present the other day and then … WHAM! I got some news on Saturday that really made me take a step back and wonder if I really have any clue as to what I’m talking about.  Do I really believe what I profess I believe or is it self-delusion?

I mean, I just finished saying how God is there … in the darkness, in the light and everything in between.  Then I am told about a teenager who allegedly commits a heinous act. This teen is a good person, a kind person, a sweet person and I am left shaking my head in disbelief.  I know this because I’ve met this teen. I’ve talked with this teen.  This isn’t just some statistic, some anonymous face, some random number.  I do not understand this.  I am confused and dumbfounded.  How does something like this happen?  I mean, was God taking a nap when this was going on? Was He on another call when this call came in? Did He hit the snooze button too many times? Did this all happen when God blinked? Does God even blink? What? Why?

I don’t like these parts of the Story.  It offends my sense of right and wrong when bad things happen to innocent people, when bad things happen to good people.  It strikes me as patently unfair.  I am not one to think that these things happen because God is “testing” us; I refuse to believe that He is capricious.  Perhaps that is why I have such a hard time with the story of Job as it is written. So I ask “Why?” as I am sure all of us do at some point.3115396317_8c8c812530_o

I don’t have any answers for this and I am sure that I will not find them in this lifetime.  Perhaps mine is not to reason why. Perhaps I just have to have faith in the process of Love.  So, until the time when all will be revealed I will continue walking the walk and I will live with integrity and will do my best to finish the course.  I will continue to do my best to love others.

And I will continue to shake my head sometimes.